Hi. So I’ll just get right into it. 2 years after I completed my degree, I met this guy. Back then I wasn’t that interested in working on relationships, I was working on me (you know the famous line most of us use after numerous failed relationships). At the uni I didn’t really meet a guy that matched what my family thought was “best for me”. So, I was in a couple of ‘entanglements’ up until I got tired of them. So, it’s 2016 and I’m “working on myself” trying to get my life together, I meet this guy who promises heaven and who am I? Fall back right into it, head over heels. He convinces me to move in with him and I did with my everything. I mean it would save me a lot of cash and energy because it was close to my work place.
Two months into the relationship I started noticing changes in him. Coming home late, mood swings, late replies; basically, he was just off. I decided this was not the life I was going to live so I decided to talk to him about it. Me bringing up the issue obviously triggered him. That was the first time he hit me and walked out. The next day he came back saying sorry and I forgave him. I mean, people make mistakes. Fast forward 6 months later, am leaving work one day, a random lady stopped me outside my office and told me to look into my guy’s history and I should take care. I get home and obviously tell my guy what happened and he brushed off the story claiming she might have been mentally unstable.
Looking back, I remember him making a couple of calls that day but I don’t remember the exact conversation. Later on, he told me that his business was on verge of collapsing. After talking about it, we agreed on me supporting his business on a condition that he would refund the money after the business picked.
Seven months and this guy hasn’t given the cash back, remember I put all my savings in, did I mention that I was the one handling the bills because ‘his business had not picked yet’ so I basically had nothing. I had no idea what the so-called business was about cause whenever I asked, he’d just give flat answers like you won’t understand or is it really that important? I decide to ask him about the money and you can imagine the answer I got, his words ” Can’t you just support your guy without asking for things back? You act like we are living together on a contract.” He got mad, I simply said sorry to avoid arguing with him.
Honestly at that moment I thought he was losing it. 8 months his moods had come back and he wasn’t even home for weeks and when he came back, he was unbothered.
So our guy here was becoming too much. It no longer felt like a relationship anymore it was more of a tussle for money, I decided to let the money issue die and fight for my relationship.
9 months we are good he’s back on track at least it’s leading somewhere. I remember that day vividly we left for work that morning each to our respective places of work, kept in touch the whole day, he kept calling to make sure I ate, took water, wasn’t overworking ,he usually did but that day it was too much but I understood because the previous day I had broken news of my pregnancy results to him.
I called him that evening to let him know I was coming home and he asked me to buy wine on’t way home. I get home wine bottle in hand (I still have the cut from the broken wine bottle on my leg). I opened the door only to be welcomed by an empty house. You know that I mean by empty. Our seats, electronics, shoes, clothes; everything. I don’t even remember how the bottle slipped from my hands. I call my guy to tell him to rush to the house cause I thought we’d been robbed but he didn’t pick. By this time, I’ve checked every single room in the house as I keep trying to reach him. The next 4 calls go straight to voicemail. I think I called him like 30 times that day before it finally hit me. That how found myself living with my sister, pregnant, surviving on my salary with no man and practically everything I had to my name gone. Looking back i wish i could have noticed the red flags from the word go. People can be heartless.
(Email me a story you wanna get out there)