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Mention the word love to the so-called millennials and observe the facial expression that follows. One euphoric moment with a person and you start thinking that the gracious angel responsible for match making has finally come to your rescue.

Who wouldn’t want to be the Romeo or Juliet of our times? Remember Jack and his lover from the Titanic? If the love legends were true then am sure most would want a copy of their manuscript or whatever code they subscribed to. Their stories seem so perfect. Try watching their movies with your girlfriend or wife and you will feel like a complete novice in matters romance. I mean, have you ever sacrificed anything for your significant other?  Anyway, that’s not the point. I am no marriage counsellor, not in my wildest dreams. So where do we go wrong?

I am certain that I speak on behalf of many when I say that many people in their twenties and probably early thirties have given up on relationships. Ever cared to ask why? I’ve listened to a whole lot of shrinks and elite counselors in different forums and the answers they give are pretty much the same. If it’s not women being materialistic, young men deserting responsibilities, lack of patience, not spending enough time as a couple, inadequate communication then its glorifying sex and a whole bunch of issues. If the list was to continue maybe somewhere towards the bottom, we would see inadequate infrastructure. Pun intended.

It is indeed true that the aforementioned issues take a heavy toll on many relationships. It is also common knowledge between you and me that there is more to it among the current generation. How do you explain the current trend of teenagers having house parties that are very expensive?  Parties are good but am sure regardless of whether you are pious or not we can agree that when the parties involve crazy amounts of liquor, probably more than some of you will see let alone use in a lifetime, is simply rogue. Did I mention hard drugs and crazy lungula in the parties? These teens know whatever it is to be known when it comes to ‘chewing’ each other.

Perhaps you need a reminder that these are teens mostly from age 14-18 years. I know you are already cursing by now. Probably back when you were in the same age bracket you were busy planning what you will wear on Sunday during the junior church meetings. The most ratchet among us were writing love letters to girls and exchanging ‘monkey face kofias’ and cardigans which were part of the school uniform as a show of love. If you managed to get away with this capital offences back in the day then you might as well be the next Samuel Abisai. Hello gamblers? The point is that we can debate for centuries about what is ailing us and after a whole novel of reasons why we only have our poor decisions and ourselves to blame.

Who has never been in love? Have you ever loved so hard that if Thriving Couples KE was present by then you would not think twice before posting a whole album of you and your ‘world’? If you cannot relate then I am afraid that the only thing that will work for you is priesthood, if you have the requisite morals of course.

You clicked on the article hoping to find a definitive answer that will magically cure your long-time ailment. Sadly, I have none. As a generation we have to be more responsible and stop finding scapegoats for every stupid mistake we make. At times deliberately. What happens when you are nearly hitting 40 and your best days are behind you? By then you want to settle but you have so much skeletons in your closet such that you cannot trust yourself. You happen to know the anatomy of the opposite sex genitalia such that you can tell how long one lasts or how competent one is by a quick glance. Hats off sensei.

We are Africans and deep down we all know that day is almost inevitable. Even the most ‘liberal’ in the society who choose not to be defined by these stereotypes have things that they wish they would have done differently but like karma, time is also a ……….

By Kingsley Mutethia
Email: Mutethiakingsley@gmail.com


  1. We haven’t failed in love we just don’t know what love is … We don’t know the real feelings of love ,the Titanic story helps us understand the feelings but have you ever experienced them ,maybe yes but how long did the feeling last ?

  2. The main problem is that every person is getting into a relationship with some other intensions rather than love. Some for money, to be noticed/ fame etc


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